Not Riding, Not Writing

Over the last two months I've been buying a house. It took me an abnormally long time to commit. Until now, I would have never characterized myself as someone who has trouble committing. But I do realize that when I use the word commitment the first image that pops into my head is of a mental institution. Nonetheless, I've come to think of that free association as just that, an underlying belief that my sanity is tied to freedom. So, I seek things that make me feel freer and teach myself that committing is also a way to be find freedoms not obtained without the initial commitment. For example, a relationship with one lover for much freer than a series of dates if only because eventually you can fart in front of each other. This whole idea runs so counter to a lot of what we have been led to believe.

Committing to this home also means that it's mine. However, the committing has been cutting into my writing and riding time. Which ends up making me feel a little crazy (somehow coming back full circle to that institution image...) I long to get back out on the road or trail. I suspect that the roads are easier this time of year, it's cold as hell most of the time, but you don't get wet or run into slick patches as often. But I just can't seem to be making it happen as often as I need it to. Between the house, my son and my new--yes I'll just admit it---boyfriend I'm completely committed.

Not riding is no excuse for not writing. I'm not sure I can strap another commitment on, but perhaps it will make me more free if I just commit to writing something everyday. To close this post, I'll include the bike-ku from my last ride:

Quick, cold ride through town

Get a movie and head home

Earning some couch time